Dear me,
Happy graduation day! The reason I choose this day is because your life is just beginning. At least, the point where I feel like it is beginning. You already live on your own, you still work at the pharmacy and you still drive your first car (which I assure you, you will always love even though it's a junker). You, my friend, are doing well for an 18 year old and I am still so proud of you, even today. I know there are a lot of questions you may have and I still don't have all of the answers for you. But as you work your way through the hard choices, just know that you are making the right ones. Even the crisis question of this big day. It is chilly and you aren't happy that you are supposed to wear a dress under your graduation gown. And because you know your diploma is already printed and what could the school say now, you chose red pants and sandals instead of a dress and heels. You are the only girl in your class that isn't wearing a dress but you know what?! You go girl! You are rocking your National Honors Society and bronze GPA sashes, so you deserve to wear whatever you want! This personality will pull you through the trenches some day, I promise you. There are things that you can't even begin to imagine right now, that are going to happen to you. You will get married and have children. You will be the best mom that you know how to be. You may think right now that you can't handle ever having a child with special needs, but you will. And you will be the best mom to that little boy. He will be one of the most beautiful parts of your entire life. And even though his life will be heart breaking, you will give him a beautiful life until his last breathes. Your marriage will be tough and it won't last forever. But don't worry too much...you will pull through it and you will go on to find love again. You will find a love for emergency medicine and helping others. Your life will change colors many times over the next 15 years so hold on tight. Don't be worried or scared though, the rough roads will change seasons and you will weather the storms just fine. Because that is who you are. You are brave. You are strong. You are wonderful. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. I know you have spent most of your childhood trying to prove that you are something to be proud of and I want you to open your eyes and see it! You don't need approval from anyone else but yourself. I am proud of you. So as you cross that stage and say goodbye to this chapter of your life, try to be easy on yourself for who you are. You will always worry a lot. You will always be stubborn. You will always second guess yourself. You will always carry the burden of the world on your shoulders. But give yourself grace. Forgive yourself for all of the things you judge so harshly. And I beg of you to do ONE thing...embrace the moments, both good and bad. Because those moments will pass you by and even the ones that seem too hard at the time, will be ones you miss just as much as the good. I am writing this to you from a time and place of peace, love and happiness. So from me to you, let life begin!
Sincerely
Your 33 year old you.
